Angel
by silent melody
Summary: a first attempt at a songfic, takes place ten years after The Amber Spyglass...please R


A/N / Disclaimer: 'Kay this is my first attempt at a songfic so it might have a few problems. Flames are welcome (tell me what to fix or what it needs) and Lyra/Will/Pan/Kirjava all belong to Philip Pullman and Angel belongs to Sarah McLachlan.

**__**

Angel  
  
Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance

A young woman with long, honey colored hair, glanced at a large clock on the wall. She would have to leave in a few minutes if she wanted to get there on time. She felt a pang of sadness as a thought crept into her mind…If only…

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for a break that would make it okay  
there's always one reason  
to feel not good enough

A man with strong, brown eyes ran his fingers through the fur of a leopard that stood at his side. She turned her head and licked his fingers affectionately. 'Come,' she whispered, 'it is nearly time. 

__

  
and it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction

A pine marten curled in the woman's lap. 'Pan, oh Pan…' She picked her dæmon up and held him close to her chest. 'Let's go'

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oh beautiful release  
memory seeps from my veins  
let me be empty

They walked together; the man and his dæmon. Through the streets of Jordan, aiming for a special place; one that they visited once a year. A place of sadness; of longing; of memories. 

__

  
and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight

  
She hurried down the steps of her college, passing quickly by anyone that would ask questions. Not that they would as questions anymore; they were to used to this site after ten years.

__

  
in the arms of an angel  
fly away from here

She slowed as neared a garden; the Botanical Garden. She pushed open the gate, heart heavy with grief. Tears ran in twin rivers down her cheeks.

__

  
from this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you fear

A passerby discreetly stared at this scene: a man walking openly with a leopard at his side, but quickly turned away as he thought, 'so the rumors are true.' The man just ignored the other, many people had goggled at Kirjava before. He opened the gate that led into the Botanical Gardens.

__

  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort there

  
The woman ran to the back of the garden where a stone bench stood. She sat on the right side, always on the right, and broke down sobbing into her dæmons red-brown fur. 'I miss him so much, Pan. Why did it have to be like this? Why?'

__

  
so tired of the straight line  
and everywhere you turn  
there's vultures and thieves at your back

He choked back tears as he walked to the back of the garden. No one was there at midday, no one ever was. He sat on the little bench, on the left; the spot that they had agreed on. 

__

  
and the storm keeps on twisting  
you keep on building the lie  
that you make up for all that you lack

'What if he forgets me? Pan, what if he doesn't want to remember, what if-' 'He won't forget. He loves you, just like you him,' her dæmon replied.

__

  
it don't make no difference  
escaping one last time

'I wish there had been another way, Kir, It was awful leaving her like that. I hated it, I would have stayed in her world and lived as long as I could with her rather that be here without her.'

__

  
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh  
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

  
She sat and rocked Pantalimion. She could feel his presence beside her. She reached out a hand, knowing that there was nothing there, yet still she tried. It was so hard to be cheerful and live a normal life, but she managed to. But this one day, this one hour was hers to let all the agony and grief out.

__

  
in the arms of an angel  
fly away from here

He heard the deep, brass sounding of the bells beginning to chime the hour, the time to leave.

__

  
from this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you fear  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie

The woman looked up from her sorrow as the loud bells began to toll. She turned her head to look at the empty space beside her.

__

  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort there  
you're in the arms of the angel

Both man and woman and their dæmons, worlds apart, unable to see each other whispered one thing, 'I love you.'

__

  
may you find some comfort here  
  
  



End file.
